a long trek

not quite blind, but the way is obscured. barefoot. cold. alone. quiet. i'm walking without a purpose and that's ok. i'm walking forwards and backwards and sideways and every which ways. progress is subjective.  i'm not where i used to be. i'm somewhere else. i'm not well. i'm not right... but i'm not wrong and it's not that bad. it is what it is. 

i'm pained and curious of the source. the word is detached. the word is disembodied. the soul and the body stare at strangers. the mind and the emotion are completely disparate. i'm still walking aimlessly in a sea of quiet, comforting darkness. down at my feet, they are stripped of all footwear and ornamentation. white and pale, skin and bone. 

the sticks and stone beneath my feet cut me deep and it reminds me this is real. the bone chilling earth is unyielding and everlasting. the cold is reassuring.

i don't know where i'm going. i don't really care. the only part that matters is that this moment exists for me and for me alone.